“Heeeeey dad…” Dipper said awkwardly as he approached his father in the household office. “Whatcha up to?”
“Oh, hey son,” Mr. Pines said, looking away from his computer. “Just checking my calendar for the year.” He smiled with embarrassment and scratched his head. “I know nothing’s set in stone yet, but I just wanted to have an idea of what I might need to move around once things are figured out. Your sister sure surprised us with the announcement last night. I didn’t even know she was dating anybody, then she says she’s getting married the day you two get home from college?! Guess that’s Mabel for you!” Mr. Pines chuckled with a shake of his head.
“Yup, guess that’s Mabel,” Dipper agreed with sigh and a roll of his eyes. “She surprised me, too…”
“Really now?” his father asked, raising his eyebrows. “You two were living together, you must have met her boyfriend.”
“Well, er, yes, that’s-”
“And she didn’t mention he proposed?”
Dipper’s mouth clamped shut as sweat spread across his skin. He shifted his lips back and forth in an effort to break their seal. He had to say it now, he didn’t have a choice. It’d just be worse if he tried to put it off.
“ER! DAD!” he shouted, finally powering through his own reluctance.
“Oh! Um, yeah, Dipper?” his father said, turning his computer chair to face his son properly. His eyes were wide with astonishment.
“Soooooo… Mabel surprised you last night, yeah?” Dipper said, holding his left hand out to the side. “And, uh, I guess I’m gonna surprise you tonight, yeah?” he continued, setting his right hand atop his left. “Because, um, weeeelllllllll…”
“Dipper?” Mr. Pines asked when his son hesitated. “Are you getting married too?”
Dipper flushed. “Yeeeeaaahhhh, see… I think this girl’s pretty great and funny and cute and clever anditsMabelwe’regettingmarriedandwe’vebeentogetherfortwoyears.”
Mr. Pines blinked, then scrunched his eyes at his son, clearly trying to catch up to the burst of words that had just been mashed together. As his eyes began to fill with comprehension, he leaned backwards and his mouth fell open.
“And she’s pregnant,” Dipper said. If she was gonna drop one bomb on their parents without telling him, then he was gonna drop the second without telling her. Fair’s fair. “Ford checked and there’s no problems. Sooo, yeah… Grandfather!” Dipper shot Mr. Pines two finger guns.
Strange sounds eked out of Mr. Pines throat as his mouth impossibly fell even more open. Dipper grinned awkwardly and stepped slowly backwards. He pulled a small card from his pocket and read from it, “Thank you for raising such a wonderful woman. I am honored to be your son.” He tossed it aside. “There’s more to that, but I guess it’s kind of dumb now. Mabel kinda messed up my plans. You know her, always the surprises, haha!”
Mr. Pines mouth closed and opened like a fish. Dipper thought he might have actually seen some electricity flicker around his father’s head as his mind fried. With a final utterance and a second shot of the finger guns, he turned and ran.
So I have had this thought pop up for the last few days and was wondering this question.
If the great Alex Hirsch agreed to read one, and only one, Pinecest fanfiction story, what story would you have him read?
It could be any story that features the twins, even the fics where they are not exactly related. I am curious what I will hear. Please share this I am genuinely interested if other people have had this thought as well.
I know that is way too many for just one choice, and believe me there are many more contenders out there, but these are some of the ones that have made stories that kind of legitimize the whole them being together is alright for me.
(Good god I hope Alex never reads any of my stuff.)
Assuming Alex has interest in this particular subject matter, I would vote for “Mystery Twins” (Intro, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9) by @coniferoussiblings . As an “origin story” of their taboo relationship, no other story (in my opinion) does a better job of doing so while capturing the spirit of the television show. There’s comedy, adventure, danger, and the familiar setting and characters of Gravity Falls, along with spot-on banter between Dipper and Mabel. Plus while it does have some NSFW erotic scenes, it is written tastefully and fits perfectly into the tone of the story. It may have been the first Pinecest fanfic I ever read, but it objectively remains a standard-bearer.
non-suspicious 